For love or money?

For almost as long as the human race has existed, we have been plagued by a great question - can you have it all? In this case I mean, is it possible to do what you love and make money doing it? So far, my experience has been, no. But, somewhere, in the dark recesses of my mind (or is it soul) I believe that it must be possible. I just haven't figured out how.

I am an artist. I am an aspiring yoga instructor. I am also a tarot card reader....Looking at any of those occupations, you can surely tell that I am by no means rich. I am also a server. That, unfortunately, is how I make most of my money. Serving beer and wings does not make me feel as though I am having a positive impact on humanity. On the contrary, I feel like I am contributing to the decline of humanity. Melodramatic? Maybe a tad, but that is truly how I feel. My job is to get my "guests" (because we want people to feel welcome and comfortable as they are gorging themselves) as fat and drunk as possible while getting them to spend more money than they probably should be...especially in this economy. But, that's exactly what people seem to want to do. And I reap the "benefits".

I would love to leave my serving job. I would love to make yoga first and foremost my livelihood while still painting and reading in order to keep some variety in my life. However, I still cannot figure out how to get a job teaching yoga and the pay from painting and reading is inconsistent at best. So, I work 4 jobs and struggle to keep studying and practicing although I'm pretty exhausted.

I feel pretty confidant that I can make my dreams happen. It's just taking a lot longer than I would like. And it's taking a lot longer than I feel that it's supposed to. But I don't know any other way to do it. I could quit my serving gig - then I would have time but not enough money to pay the bills. So, instead, I work to pay my bills and try to have faith that everything will come together in due time.


Am I misguided? Am I fooling myself? Am I living a pipe dream that I can't possibly attain? Maybe. But it's the only way that I know how to be.


Namaste