For love or money?

For almost as long as the human race has existed, we have been plagued by a great question - can you have it all? In this case I mean, is it possible to do what you love and make money doing it? So far, my experience has been, no. But, somewhere, in the dark recesses of my mind (or is it soul) I believe that it must be possible. I just haven't figured out how.

I am an artist. I am an aspiring yoga instructor. I am also a tarot card reader....Looking at any of those occupations, you can surely tell that I am by no means rich. I am also a server. That, unfortunately, is how I make most of my money. Serving beer and wings does not make me feel as though I am having a positive impact on humanity. On the contrary, I feel like I am contributing to the decline of humanity. Melodramatic? Maybe a tad, but that is truly how I feel. My job is to get my "guests" (because we want people to feel welcome and comfortable as they are gorging themselves) as fat and drunk as possible while getting them to spend more money than they probably should be...especially in this economy. But, that's exactly what people seem to want to do. And I reap the "benefits".

I would love to leave my serving job. I would love to make yoga first and foremost my livelihood while still painting and reading in order to keep some variety in my life. However, I still cannot figure out how to get a job teaching yoga and the pay from painting and reading is inconsistent at best. So, I work 4 jobs and struggle to keep studying and practicing although I'm pretty exhausted.

I feel pretty confidant that I can make my dreams happen. It's just taking a lot longer than I would like. And it's taking a lot longer than I feel that it's supposed to. But I don't know any other way to do it. I could quit my serving gig - then I would have time but not enough money to pay the bills. So, instead, I work to pay my bills and try to have faith that everything will come together in due time.


Am I misguided? Am I fooling myself? Am I living a pipe dream that I can't possibly attain? Maybe. But it's the only way that I know how to be.


Namaste

Still at it!

So, another day. I started off with a short series this morning - to wake up and get energized. Of course, I didn't get up that early. Earlier than I usually do - 10am. Because I work late nights sometimes and have 4 jobs, I can't always wake up in the morning. That's one of my biggest challenges. I really wish that I could consistently start my day off early. I know that I can do it - I just have to be disciplined. But, I'm finding that to be a real challenge. 
Regardless, I did get up and start my day. Even more important, I made some calls. Man! Is that ever super scary! Basically, I made some cold calls to some local studios - I set myself a goal of 5. I called 5 studios to ask for work. I left 4 messages and spoke to one - she said that they were all set. She did indicate that they typically hire teachers from within their community. That makes perfect sense of course. In addition to the 4 messages, I emailed those studios. (One just called as I was typing - no openings either).
I also went on Craigs List and emailed a posting - fingers crossed. The post is already 2 weeks old, so who knows how good it is.
So far, the experience has been what I expected. No opportunities. But, I'm hoping that doing this will at least put my name out there and also make it a little easier to keep making these kinds of calls....
But, I feel like studios are going to want more experience and more polish than what I have. So, now what? How do I address that problem? I really believe that I just need the right opportunity at the right time. As long as I keep trying, the time will come when it will fit. I will keep making calls and sending emails. The next step is to try to tap some acquaintances. See if I can get a hand from Melissa, Sharon, Erica....keep trying, keep trying....
Om Shanti!! Namaste!!

What am I doing??

So, my great dream is to become a yoga teacher....not only that, but I want to LIVE yoga, BREATHE yoga, BE yoga....so what am I doing? Anything BUT yoga. I was supposed to take today to look for a job - call studios, research assisted living, try online postings....what did I do? Laundry, dishes, made the bed, checked my email, balanced my checkbook....and now its almost 8:00pm. I'm just really having a hard time getting it together and staying focused. I can't seem to really discipline myself. I feel like all of my dreams are getting farther and farther away....

So, I tell myself, "it's ok. I'm perfect exactly as I am right now. I can only do so much. Forgive myself and move on. There's always tomorrow." Thing is, I feel like I've been saying all that to myself for a long time. Now, I can't figure out if it's true or if it's all just excuses....

What kind of yogini am I if I can't even follow through with the thing that I want the most???

long journey

So, now is the time to buckle down and get serious. I received my RYT - 200 certification in October. I have been approved to teach yoga. Woo-hoo! That was the easy part. Now comes the hard part. Now, I have to figure out a way to live yoga....So, I have to find a way to teach for money - for a living. Once I do that, I can cut out some rather large negatives in my life. That should be a catalyst to turn around other areas of my life: my diet, meditation, stress relief, living healthfully and naturally....spiritually. But, I just don't know where to begin....


It all gets very overwhelming. I keep trying to tell myself to take things one at a time....but that just makes me feel like I'm slacking. I need to figure out a better way of handling stress, time management, motivation.....basically, everything. I wish I could get a hand....


So, if anybody reads this and understands what I'm saying, and could offer any advice, I would greatly appreciate it!! I am putting out a call to the Universe - I need help realizing my true self. I need a hand getting my heart in sync with my outer self. I know that the Universe will provide for me - I just needed to ask.


Om Shanti!
Namaste!

Baby Steps

So, I wander down the path ahead of me, and wonder, "where am I going?" I know where my destination is, but I have no idea how to get there. I keep telling myself that it's all about baby steps. And that's just what I'm doing. I can't expect to reach my goal immediately. But, I feel like it's time to take a new step. 
I am happy that I am doing what I enjoy and making some money - but the jobs that I've had have been inconsistent. I have work once in a while -  and mostly through word of mouth of friends. And all the work that I have had has just been for tips - not actual paying gigs. So, I feel like it's time for the next step. But, what? How do I find gigs? Where do I get jobs? I'm not really that internet savvy, so I don't know how to exploit this resource....that's the purpose of this blog.
I am attempting to chronicle my journey and hopefully figure out a way to gain some exposure along the way. I'm not entirely sure that this is the way to do it, but I figure, it's a step. And that's what it's all about, isn't it? One step after the other...one by one until you get to the end. As long as I'm moving forward and not back, I'm doing the right thing, I think.
This week, I will be continuing my yoga teacher training - that will keep me very busy. And that's a very good thing. And not just busy, but actually busy in a constructive way.This week is another step towards one of my goals. Soon, this journey will be complete and I will be certified to teach yoga. And then a whole other journey will begin....; )

The First Step

So, I have decided that the time has come to start a blog....I don't know if this is a good idea or not, but I figure that it's a start. I am trying to change my life around and live my bliss. The biggest hurdle that I face is how to get myself out there....

A little bit about myself. I am an artist, aspiring yogi and spiritual Jill-of-all-trades. I want to bring more spirituality into my world and to those around me. As an artist, I paint and do henna. I am in the process of getting certified to teach yoga. I am also an intuitive tarot reader. All of these things tie into my spirituality. I would like to live a more integrated life, but I am still unsure how to do that. 

I have been following a couple of amazing women online, Marie Forleo and Hillary Rubin, and came up with the idea of blogging. This is something that they both do and do well - and it seems to be key in marketing. So, I thought I would give it a try. My hope is to chronicle my professional development as well as promote and support some other like-minded businesses. I would like to contribute to a more holistically minded online community as well as draw inspiration from others.....so, let's see how it goes!!